Flying Without Wings
by dragon agility
Summary: 1xR His hold was anxious, as if he was making sure that she was really there before whispering “I've always wondered if this was what love was like: the thing everyone wanted to hold on to...if this was really something worth lasting forever...


This is my first 1xR fic, but don't be put off!! It's quite a long songfic, and the song is called 'Flying Without Wings' by 'Westlife', a band who's not my favourite, but do quite good songs: a perfect one in this case!!!! Enjoy!!!

**Flying Without Wings**

**By dragon agility (one shot fic)**

Heero grudgingly opened his eyes. It was morning, though the sun had yet to rise and filter through the gap in the curtain. He always woke up early, a trait he had yet to grow out of that he had had since a child. He was a light sleeper too, and for good reason.

The room was dark, everything he looked at seemed to blur before his eyes in the darkness of the bedroom. He felt movement beside him and his muscles seemed to relax as if he was still sleeping. He turned his head towards the source and sighed.

She was beautiful in her deep sleep. He subconsciously tightened his muscular arms around her curvy frame, moving as close to her as possible.

He watched in fascination as her chest rose with each of her shallow breaths, her rose lips slightly parted. Her eyes were still: a dreamless sleep, and her golden hair was spread on the deep red pillow, twirling around her shoulders.

He wanted to kiss her lips, but he knew he would wake her. So Heero leant down and breathed into her hair that smelt of lavender. She was warm against his torso, warmth he didn't want to lose.

Funny. He would never have thought that this was what he had been looking for all those months ago; what he had been walking around the streets for, searching high and low for. Something as simple and as breathtaking as this.

**_Everybody's looking for that something_**

**_One thing that makes it all complete _**

**_You find it in the strangest places_**

**_Places you never knew it could be_**

Since the Coup d'Etat of Mariemaea Khushrenada of AC196, he had been wandering around the colonies, just looking for that something.

He had something to cling onto. That was Relena. He had made a solemn vow in his mind that he would always protect her the moment he had been unable to shoot her when she had been Queen Relena and had spoken as the Representative of Romafeller. Nothing would ever harm her, because he respected her and cared for her in a way he couldn't understand.

She was what made him go on with a purpose and a reason. Now all he had to do was find that something that would make him complete. Something that wouldn't make him wander around searching. A home. Something to fill that empty space.

He had seen Relena in AC197, where she had told him that he gave her strength and she could go on just knowing that he was out there somewhere. It was the same for him. Just knowing that she was there, keeping the peace was strength to him, because he knew that he was nothing compared to her and she was everything that he had first thought she wasn't. Relena had told him to visit her every once in a while so she could go on. He had complied, visiting her very few months. They talked, reminisced and were happy in each other's company. He had felt more at peace being with her, forgetting about his struggle to find that one thing. Her mere presence was enough to sew his wounded soul back together. Her had smiles brightened his day and drove away his dark thoughts.

But for a while, Heero hadn't gone to Earth. He hadn't been since AC199, and that was two years ago.

During his wandering, he had ended up on L2 and had decided to pay a visit to Duo. Heero hadn't seen him face to face in a couple of years, so it was rather nice. They had kept contact by vid-link, and Duo had told him about his marriage to Hilde and the birth of their twins.

Heero had smiled when he had seen the twins: both boys and identical to Duo. He had told Hilde to watch out as she was going to have two more Duos in her house once they started to talk. She had laughed, and had insisted that he stay for a couple of days.

Those couple of days had shown something to Heero.

Just seeing Duo with Hilde proved that Duo had found his something. The way Duo looked into Hilde's eyes with such admiration and tenderness. And when they were both with their twins, he saw it again. They were complete: a happy family.

Duo had taken Heero around L2, and they had caught up on business and everything else. Heero had found himself opening up a little to tell Duo his troubles.

"There's something missing. The Earth Sphere is in peace and though there's not much to do as before, everyone has got back on their feet."

Duo had sighed, smiling slightly, "You still look out for Relena, right?"

Heero had nodded and said, "I haven't seen her for two years though."

"Buddy, you've already found it. You've just lost it."

Heero hadn't replied, and the next day he had left. He had gone back to wandering around, just searching, not even trying to work out what Duo had told him.

**_Some find it in the face of their children_**

**_Some find it in their lover's eyes_**

**_Who can deny the joy it brings_**

**_When you've found that special thing_**

**_You're flying without wings_**__

Heero looked at the poster and read it quickly. Trowa's troupe was in town. He knew that the tall acrobat sometimes did special missions for the Preventers, so Heero decided to pay him a visit to know if there was anything much going on.

When he arrived, there was a show going on. Heero had no interest for watching circus acrobatics, so he waited around the back, among the trailers for it to finish. This was where Trowa found Heero, leaning with his arms crossed against the costume trailer.

They had said hello and had talked for a while. Une had sent Trowa on a mission not too long ago and Heero was surprised to hear that Wufei was dating Sally.

Catherine had come out, in her usual outfit and had recognised him straight away. Heero had nodded his head, in acknowledgement. Trowa told Heero that Catherine was indeed his sister, and had then walked with Heero around the animal cages. Heero had witnessed Trowa tenderly stroke the fierce lions fur, quelling his roaring at once. He fed it and then Trowa spoke:

"Every morning, I come to feed the animals. They've become part of my life in this time of peace, just like being in the circus is no longer a cover-up, but a part of myself."

"Hm."

"I'm not very sociable," Trowa had said, "But they seem not to mind."

Heero thought, he's found something too. He has a home.

"Have you seen Relena recently?" Trowa had asked.

"No."

Trowa smiled, "I saw her last when I was at Preventers. She's changed quite a lot. She asked about you."

Heero had frozen, looking straight at Trowa's face, "I see. I expect she didn't have much to say."

"Quite opposite in fact."

Trowa regarded Heero with no expression before saying, "She said her strength is fading away."

Heero had left a while later, deep in thought. Was Relena saying that she needed him? He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, crowds of people pushing past him, stating their annoyance. He didn't move, letting the pain of their elbows that sometimes stung him wash over. He clenched his fists.

No, she couldn't need him because she was strong. He was not as strong as her, did that mean he needed her? No…or maybe…hm…

He found himself in a park, sitting on a bench. The breeze rustled his clothes, chills going down his back. But he ignored them. He remembered why he had stopped visiting her. He had begun to feel something. He had wanted to cling on to her, but Heero didn't want that. He didn't know what he could do. He had realised that she was someone who meant more to him than he had first thought. And this had startled him. Along with his desire to find that one thing, he had decided to only return if there was danger.

He stood up as it began to rain. As he walked away, the rain soaking him to the bone, he saw a couple walking together. One talked and then the other began to laugh.

They all had something and somewhere to go.

**_Some find it sharing every morning_**

**_Some in their solitary lives_**

**_You find it in the works of others_**

**_A simple line can make you laugh or cry_**

****

"Heero! It's so good to see you!"

He had seen Quatre next. As head of the Winner Corporation and a multi-millionaire, it was weird to know that Quatre was young and had once fought as a Gundam pilot.

Heero had been surprised to see Dorothy on Quatre's arm. And he later discovered that they weren't a couple, but the deepest of friends. Heero could see it coming though and he guessed that they would be together in a couple of months.

Quatre had been overjoyed by seeing Heero, and had invited him for a drink at his office. The conversation was varied and then Quatre sighed and looked to his friend.

"Heero, you look tired and rugged."

"I've been wandering around for the last couple of years without a place to go."

Quatre had sighed, "You do know that you're welcome at my residence any time because you're one of my friends."

Heero had shook his head, "Thanks but I need to wander around. It helps me sort out my thoughts and emotions. It calls out to me, though I don't know what it is."

Quatre had smiled before saying, "I spoke to Relena the other day. We've become quite close friends."

Quatre saw the flicker of alert in Heero's face at the mention of Relena's name. He had expected it, but not quite so obviously. He was quite stunned to see how Heero's eyes lit up, becoming a wild blue and how his muscles tensed. Quatre knew that Heero, deep down, was devoted to Relena greatly; Heero just didn't know how much. He could see Heero's pain and confusion in his eyes, while he battled emotions he couldn't seem to grip and hold into place.

"Heero," Quatre had begun, "I know that you care for Relena with everything you've got, but your feelings do run deeper than that."

"You don't understand Quatre. Anyway, I haven't seen her in two years."

"Then go to her."

It was a simple line, but it had cut deep within Heero. At that moment, he wasn't aware of the office he was in, or Quatre's presence opposite him: he saw only her.

And then he had closed his eyes and shook his head, clearing out his thoughts, "Quatre…"

"Remember when we were on Peacemillion and you told me that you put the Zero system on Sandrock? I was scared and I doubted myself to the point where I thought I was going to explode. Don't doubt yourself Heero. You're a good person, and you can be like any other person in the universe."

Heero had sighed, "I've seen Duo with Hilde and Trowa with his circus troupe…and now you with Dorothy. You've all found that one thing that calls out to you, I'm still searching."

"So is she."

At that point, Dorothy had entered the office, and Quatre had excused himself from Heero's presence. Heero saw the look that Quatre gave him, a sort of pleading look. He also saw the interaction between Quatre and Dorothy: their smiling faces and their closeness.

He had left after that and as he was walking down the steps from the Winner Corp. building, he froze in wonder. Up on the huge colony television screen was Relena. It was a news bulletin showing her talking to the congress. Her smiling face brought a sweet pain to Heero's heart, something that had started the last few visits to Relena.

But as he watched her positive face on the television, he realised that he had felt like this a long time ago. Heero breathed deeply. He had been lost since the day he was born, not having any place. He knew that feeling, and that feeling was still with him, though not as much as he had a purpose to go on in life protecting Relena.

But this sweetness within his heart was first brought upon near the end of the Eve Wars, when he had asked her to believe in him. And it had come back again with even greater force when in AC196; he had saved Relena from the remnants of White Fang. She had said such kind things, words that touched his very soul and felt that he didn't deserve them. He had kissed her then, his first kiss.

He breathed deeply again. He could still remember her surprise when he had lowered his lips to hers and the gentle caress of her lips for the few seconds of the kiss. He had just snapped at that point and kissed her. And then they had gone their own separate ways.

Now, this sweetness seemed to strike at the mentioning of her name or at any thought of her that was brought on by any source. He could feel it now. So why had he run away from her when these feelings were there from the start? Was it because they had intensified?

Feelings…and then it hit him. They were all trying to tell him something.

'Buddy, you've already found it. You've just lost it.'

'She said her strength is fading away.'

'Then go to her.'

'I'm still searching…' 'So is she.'

"I'm a fool."

She was the one person who had made that much of a difference in his life. He never ever forgot her and when that day came that he's who he's supposed to be, that was the time to go back to her: Relena. And that was what he now realised.

Not only was she the thing that he could cling onto and give him a purpose and a reason, she was the one thing he had been searching for; the one to make it complete. He now understood how much that special thing meant to him, and then and there, as he looked at her image on the television screen, he knew where he would wander to next.

**_You find it in the deepest friendships_**

**_The kind you cherish all your life_**

**_And when you know how much that means_**

**_You've found that special thing_**

**_You're flying without wings_**

He felt that excruciating feeling once more as she walked past him, totally oblivious to his presence. He felt his eyes trailing her form as she went to sit down on her couch, sighing loudly.

That was one thing he had noticed since he had arrived on Earth the day before and had been following her every move. She seemed…tired, and he could think of no other way to describe it.

Trowa had been right after all, her strength was fading.

The television was on, blaring the room with light. She had been unable to see him because of the shadows cast by the darkness of the night, but if she turned around now, she'd see his form.

He watched as she jumped when lightning flashed and thunder sounded straight away. He could hear her breathing and he stirred within. Then, everything turned black. It was a power cut.

He heard her curse, and he felt a smirk tug at his lips. She stood up and Heero walked forward, the floor creaking. He heard her intake of air as she began to look around the darkness for the cause of the noise, "Show yourselves, I'm not scared."

Heero didn't move, but when the next lightning streaked across the sky and filled the room with light, she gasped.

"Heero…"

"…Relena…"

Just then, the emergency lighting of her home came on. It was light, but it was dim. Heero could see that Relena had grown into a woman. They had all grown up and weren't as naive as they had all been. She smiled and it reached her eyes.

"It's good to see you Heero, you've changed quite a lot since I last saw you."

"The same with you."

Relena looked down before looking up once more, "So, what trouble is there this time in the Earth Sphere?"

Heero sighed silently and realized that she thought he was here to protect her, "The peace is keeping: you're doing the best you can do."

She spoke straightaway, "Well, you didn't say goodbye last time Heero, so I assumed something very important came up."

He could hear the slight sarcasm in her voice and he knew that she must have been greatly worried when he had left the last time and not returned until now. When he didn't speak, Relena smiled slightly, "I'm sorry Heero, I should understand that I can't always see you and expect you to stay. I was just worried when you left suddenly."

She was doing it again. The words she was saying struck deep within Heero and a rush filled him. Before he could speak, she did.

"So, what have you been doing Heero?"

Heero felt his muscles relax, "I've been running…"

Relena's eyes widened slightly as if she was remembering something.

He continued, "I've been running from the truth, and I was a fool to not see that I was running in the right direction."

"Heero…"

He clasped her hands in his own. The warmth of her soft hands filled him instantly, "Running away did help me. But the emptiness I wanted to get rid of and make complete just followed me, wherever I went."

Relena smiled and came closer to Heero, gently squeezing their clasped hands, "Do you remember when you asked me to believe in you on Libra? In your eyes, was a pleading look, because you knew you were about to die. You were pleading with me to give you a reason to live."

"I know Relena. You gave me a reason, and it's stayed with me ever since."

"Well, you give me a reason to go on, and you know you do Heero. But sometimes, Heero, I'm so scared and tired. Sometimes," She paused and took in a shuddering breath. "Sometimes I just want to give up."

"Everyone feels that way once in a while Relena, but deep down, you know you would never want to have your life another way."

Relena closed her eyes and then opened them, smiling with emotion etched on her face, "I care about you a lot Heero. Not because I have to and not because you're the saviour of the world, but because you mean a lot to me Heero due to the fact that I see the soul in you. I see what no one else can. I see the real you, and it's so beautiful that I want you to believe it too."

"Relena…" he whispered. He could feel it again and he subconsciously tightened his grip on her soft hand. He breathed onto her face, "Something was calling me away from everything. I had to sort out my emotions and find that something to quell that emptiness."

_'I'm still searching…' 'So is she.'_

"I've felt empty too, Heero."

_'She said her strength is fading away.'_

"Then I've been selfish. I made a choice for you. I hurt you."

_'Buddy, you've already found it. You've just lost it.'_

Relena looked deeply into Heero's Prussian blue eyes and whispered taken aback, "You know that I love you."

Heero remained silent and suddenly thunder ripped the sky apart, the noise cutting the tension with a knife. Heero felt Relena's shock and the frightening look in her eyes. He smiled slightly, and pulled her close so her head was resting near his shoulder. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, and he buried his face in her hair. Relena sighed softly, understanding some feelings he could not verbalize. His hold was possessive, almost anxious, as if he sought to make certain that she was really there before whispering "I've always wondered if this was what love was like; if this was the thing everyone wanted to hold on to…if this was really something worth lasting forever..."

He felt a tremor go through her body and he let her go. She didn't step back though, just looked at him before softly saying, "It is, Heero. Please, don't leave…"

"You're my home Relena, so how can I when I've found that special something that makes it all complete?"

No other words were uttered between them and as Relena led him upstairs, his hand gripped tightly and lovingly in hers, they knew they'd have no regrets ever again.

**_So impossible as they may seem_**

**_You've got to fight for every dream_**

**_'Cause who's to know_**

**_Which one you let go_**

**_Would have made you complete_**

****

Heero breathed deeply against the warmth of Relena as he remembered how he had found that something to make him complete. Since that first night around five months ago, there had been no turning back for either of them. Deep down, they knew they both needed each other.

Heero felt Relena stir and he leant back slightly as she turned her head to face him, opening her eyes gently. She was beautiful, especially now as the sunlight was peeking through the curtain and lighting up her face. She smiled and Heero lent forward to kiss her lips gently. It was a gentle but loving kiss and he then rested his forehead against hers, their eyes locked.

She brought up her hand to his cheek and then swept his bangs off his face, before laughing slightly as they returned to his normal rough position. Heero smiled and began to nibble her ear before whispering, "I love you Relena."

She sighed, "I love you too, Heero…"

He moved back a bit and let his hand touch her velvety soft skin, before his fingertips reached her side and she giggled. She was very tickilish, but he was the only one who knew that. They knew things about each other that no one else but themselves would ever know, and that was what made them right for each other.

****

**_Well for me it's waking up beside you_**

**_To watch the sun rise on your face_**

**_To know that I can say I love you_**

**_In any given time or place_**

**_It's the little things that I know_**

**_Those are the things that make you mine_**

**_And it's like flying without wings_**

**_'Cause you're my special thing_**

**_I'm flying without wings_**

****

And as Heero watched his beautiful Relena get dressed, he felt as light as air. She turned to him and smiled lovingly, and he felt as if he was…flying…

****

**_You're the place my life begins_**

**_And you'll be where it ends_**

**_I'm flying without wings_**

**_And that's the joy you bring_**

**I'm flying without wings**

**Owari! the end**

**I hope you enjoyed my first 1xR fic!!!!**


End file.
